air and time and space and light

David Bowie.. Natalie Merchant..

Great song. Who sings better.. David Bowie.. Natalie is very good too, definitely, very emotional. It is such an intense song. I heard it last week on Eksen Radyo (http://eksenradio.com) with Natalie’s version. It touched me really. David Bowie has influenced so many musucians, he is so good.

I like when the part “from ground to major tom” comes.. It feels like, you’re asking your voice to be heard and it is not heard. You feel lost in space. You sing your songs, make your calls, efforts in vain.. Nobody is there to hear your call. You pray to God, thinking your wish is noted, you hope, and maybe and most probably it does not come true..

Lost in space..

Lost in world..

Is not it the same thing?

Such a strong song- I don’t feel like lost usually.. I feel things are under control. When I hear this song though, I believe how easy it is to feel lost..

I don’t know if I should say that my interview was ok or not.

I did worse than I could on logic test and I had good results for personality test and I had a good Q&A part. So 2/3 of my interview went ok. And I hope that they will invite me for a second round.

First I was given a logic test. Just 12 minutes – 50 questions (you do as many as you can – only correct answers are counted). I was given the test in Turkish, which turned out to be to my disadvantage because I did not find the Turkish elaborate. It could have been prepared better. I lost some minutes with that, and when the clock is ticking so fast, it was surely a disadvantage. After the logic test, I took the personality test, this time I specifically asked the test in English. And I chose the words carefully. After these two parts, she interviewed me. Her questions were fast, detailed and direct. But also classic like ; why maersk, why finance, where will you be in 5 years, etc.. She took notes of my answers and she was very polite. Maersk HR is really very professional. Like test machines. She after then told my test scores. It was good to to get immediate feedback. Kind of an experiment. And it she was like a fortune-teller telling your future – she commented on my personality based on the test. It was close to me but well, I clicked those things so I am not surprised.

They will contact me in two weeks. Let’s see how things will turn out. If they offer me the job, I’ll accept it The HQ is located in a nice part of Copenhagen, I wouldnoty mind  going there everyday!

Then by chance I got another a job interview at an IT company called Secunia. It is sales, international account manager. It went better, I think I’d get the job offer. But I don’t know if I really want that. Let’s see..

Yesterday I was informed that Isaac Rayes was found dead. He was the voice of ‘Chef” in  South Park, I mean that was his most recent popular work. He has been a real African-American soul music icon and has received many awards. I discovered his music upon reading the bad news. So interesting that I never heard about him before and I never heard any songs by him. I listened to some of his old stuff on Youtube and I really liked it. Is it little bit late?!

I also find it interesting that “hommage” thing works so fast on Internet. Everywhere is full of videos about him all of a sudden and it is impossible not to notice his death, unless you are someone who follows the news every day. Same thing goes for Heath Ledger, I was very sad by his sudden death. I was in the Philippines when I heard about it and I was following it so well on CNN. His death was a good enough reason to make Dark Knight number 1 movie on imdb.com. It is like as if there is a huge community on Internet moving together, reacting together. People vote and post.. That’s the modern day revolt.

I wonder why it bothers me so much whether I write my blog in Turkish or English. I want to make it a habit to write in Turkish and feel fluent, feel strong in my native language in which I was once very good at. I was writing literature pieces; essays and so forth. Now I feel so far from being good at it. I am of course talking about writing good stuff, not just posting something. I want my posts to be written with very elegant, fluent, cool Turkish. However, I feel these days more comfortable with English. So let it be so, just let it go. No;I have to feel bad about it. That’s me.

I am bothered with the fact that I am not getting feedback for my job applications. I am wishing so much that the summer vacation will be over soon here in Denmark and HR people will start responding people;  I mean me!

Other bothering factors:

- Weather is changing here.. Usually cloudy and rainy. Sometimes, rarely, a small sunshine.. Wish the weather was like in Turkey. Little colder, more fresh but I miss the constant sunshine of Izmir!

 - Morten’s parents have a small TV subscription in Horsens so there are not many channels. In fact, there are only 10 channels. There are 2-3 German channels and 1-2 swedish channels, TV5 monde, and yeah just 2-3 danish channels. I miss our satellite TV in Izmir!

- Silence

- Not much to do..

- Laziness

- Getting up late (9.30-10 is late for me)

It is one of those days when anything can bother me.. or Annoy me.. It is so easy.

I want to produce, create, do something.. Travel or spend a whole day in an office. Talk about some serious stuff. I just want to feel like myself; a busy – successful person.. That’s all I miss! Otherwise, I will keep complaining!

Bugun 08.08.08 coook hos bir kombinasyon! Cin Olimpiyatlari’nin acilis torenini izledim; 4 saat kadar. Bugun zamanimin olmasi cok iyi oldu; inanilmaz iyi hazirlanmisti Cin. Gorsel bir solen derler ya iste gercekten oyleydi.

Dunyanin her yerinde protesto ediliyordu Cin; Tibet’te yasananlar nedeniyle. Ama acilis toreni skandalsiz, problemsiz sonuclandi.

Bugun asil yazma motivasyonum 08.08.08 de bir entry’min olmasi!

Take it easy!

Bugun Horsens Kommune’nin Danimarkaca kursuna gittim ilk kez. Uzun zamandir dil kursuna gitmemistim ve bugunku sinif herhalde bulundugum en uluslararasi sinifti. Sri Lanka’dan, Brezilya’dan, Ukrayna’dan, Bangledes’ten, Polonya’dan ve Filipinler’den olusan bir Danimarkaca sinifi! Dunyanin en kucuk ulkelerinden birinde (5.5milyon nufuslu), en zor telaffuzlu Avrupa dillerinden birini ogrenmek icin bu kadar farkli ulkelerden biraraya gelmemiz ilginc. Herkesin farkli bir hikayesi ve amaci var. Ben kendi kendime calistigim halde bir bucuk ay kursa giden bu minik kozmopolit gruptan daha cok sey biliyor gibi gorundum ders boyunca.

Ve aklima google earth’ten bu ulkelere bakmak geldi. Sonra bi ara blogspotta bloglara bakarken Hindistan resimlerini gordum; Taj Mahal’e giden Fransizlar.. Taj Mahal 1648′de tamamlanmis.

Banglades’in nufusu 150milyonmus, baskenti Dhaka, 1971′de Pakistan’dan bagimsizligini ilan etmis. Dil : Bengali. 1998 de dunyanin gordugu en buyuk sel ulkenin 2/3unu sular altinda birakmis. Nobel odullu ekonomist Muhammed Yunus da “Bengali”.

Sri Lanka: 1972 ye kadar Ceylon olarak biliniyordu. UK’den bagimsizligini 1948 yilinda alabildi. Onemli Budist merkezi olmus yuzyillardan beri. Nufusu 20mn. Kisi basina dusen gelir (4600usd) S.E.A’da en yukseklerden biri. Hint Okyanusu’nda yer aliyor.

I was just reading a job offer by microsoft and it ends with this pampering message: go wherever your passion takes you.. How easy is that really? How many young people can afford to go there? And why this kind of a motto is used by all recruitment process? Decades ago, you’d say this kind of inspiring motto to yourself after reading a deep book. I don’t like the expanding category of self-motivation, self-development books and slogans. It feels fake, commerce-driven. When I was a small kid I watched “The Lion King” and I had liked “Hakuna Matada” (no worries!), my dad, Elif and my cousins we all liked it. Those were the times when I started appreciating these heartful, cute expressions.. I was 14, well, who does not need some inspiraton? Starting from 2000 I realised the self-development book shelves expanded and expanded. I was neutral. However, the book and film called Secret just pushed me to the side of “not liking this sort of crap”. I did not read the book, would never do that. But I watched the movie and it is a very smart way of making loads of money. Positive thinking, believing in good things and keeping the faith is advised and written on for so many decades. Just go and dig some bookshelves. Read some philosophy, read some religions, just go and read.. You will realise that nobody is saying new things. Whatever these new writers are writing have already been told by others. And yet, some smart lady comes and tells she found “the secret”..  It is unbelivably annoying and look at the fashion even on job sites..

It is cliché all over.. It stinks….

I realized how much time I am spending every week on the internet for doing research on people’s stories. I see a movie and if it is based on a true life story, ohh then I can spend easily some good time to find out more details. Or simply while reading a book, newspaper, magazine, I can be attracted to find more about a detail; it can be a side character as well as the main one. I look up a person per day almost and the fast information gets forgotten or maybe just lose some good details.  I decided to write about the most recent ones with key words.

• Sylvia Likens.. An American Crime
• Resad Ekrem Kocu (1905-1975).. Istanbul Ansiklopedisi
• Patty Hearst.. SLAM
• Ingrid Betancourt.. French-Colombian
• Luis Bunuel.. Un chien Andalou
• Erin Burnett.. CNBC